God's will & the soul

You know, God's will is usually not what we expected. He tends to surprise us with the unpredictable. And what we desire is sometimes not what He has for us. Thus producing the war that rages deep within. It's more than a battlefield in the mind; that's only one battle in the war. It's more than a battle in the heart, it's a war in the soul--in the deepest depths that pertain to every part of the soul. The soul is the life, the personality that God created and breathed into us. He foreknows the choices we'll make, even though He gives us the will to choose. His Spirit adds eternal life to the soul; without it, the soul is damned to eternal death.

i'll be alright

"i drive myself crazy trying to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make
But my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me
Yeah, you get me
It's amazing to me"
the words play over & over
as i continuously hit the start over button
"I come around all broken down and
Crowded out And you're comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know"
the words ring loud and clear
"Sometimes I swear, I don't know if I'm comin' or goin'
But you always say something
Without even knowin'
That I'm hangin' on to your words
With all of my might and it's alright
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night"
'cause, Lord, every day, you save my life
through my friends
through the rain and thunder storms
through the flowers
through the waves crashing onto the shore
through the majestic mountains
help me, Lord, I pray
and I'll be alright...

(lyrics from "Every Day" by Rascal Flatts)

people pleaser

To be a great leader is to be a people pleaser.

I am a people pleaser, but I must refine my people skills in order to come an effective leader. I desire to be the leader that people follow fearlessly. I choose to better myself and fight for what is right. I will do what it takes to bring my dreams to fruition.

life

Life.
It can be hard at times.
And sometimes it's quite easy.
No matter how hard we try
some things weren't meant to change.
They were always meant to be.
"When life gives you lemons,
make lemonade," they say.
Well, I say be more creative
there's so much more to do with lemons.
To live is to have ups and downs
smiles & frowns
but those in life that you share them with
are what's important
they're what help you get through the night
live your life to the fullest
have no regrets
your choices have made you
who you are
and if you aren't happy with yourself
change will come and so will joy.
Just live.

little flower

little flower, little flower

don't be sad

your leaves are brown

and your blooms have faded

are you thirsty

have a sip of my water

are you cold and lonely

i'll be your friend

here's some sunshine

there, that's better

look at you now

you're green again

and blooming again

but, wait

are you still sad

your blooms are drooping

they hang upside down

have a little more water

and a little more sunshine

i'll see you in the morning.

you take my breath away!

your petals are pink

and stand tall

you're smiling, i can tell

you make me smile

i'm so glad we're friends

little flower

one little puppy

one little puppy sits and waits
she stares out the window
at the cars passing by
she watches the bees fly
and listens to the birds sing
but nothing brings a smile to her face
one little puppy sits and waits
she tries chasing her tail
but it's not as fun
she chews on her bone
and sniffs at the flowers
but they don't smell as sweet
one little puppy sits and waits
he hasn't come home yet
now the sun is fading
and the sky is growing dark
but wait! here he comes
she jumps for joy, barks & runs around
one little puppy sits at his feet
she's at his beck and call
he reaches out to pet her
she smiles deep inside
and gently licks his fingertips
she lays close never to leave his side

the eternal 29 realization

Well, this is it. This is my last year at being "young" though it really seems "old" to be 29. Today is my birthday and I can't believe I am where I am today. Honestly, I thought I'd be living in Africa by now with 5 kids and a husband in a little hut, tending a farm, sharing God's greatness and seeing people's lives turned around for His glory.

Instead of that, I am in the Air Force learning something new, still awaiting the day when I can step onto blessed African soil. Don't get me wrong; I love my husband and boys, my friends and family, and the military, but I still dream of holding those African babies and witnessing God working in their lives. One day, I hope.

I haven't seen much in my life but here's a bit of what I have seen and/or experienced (not in order):

1. Ronald Reagan's inauguration
2. cassette tapes of 80's & 90's
3. CD's
4. PC that I had to program via a cassette tape and tape recorder plugged into my TV
5. AOL that charged like a million dollars a minute
6. LP's (brother's 100+ collection)
7. 8 tracks
8. Atari
9. Nintendo
10. Nintendo 64
11. What PS & Xbox is out now...?
12. Had a Pinto that was nice.
13. Wished for a Probe.
14. Drove across TX in the "backseat" of an EXP.
15. Lord knows how many dogs...
16. ...or even how many schools.
17. Been to New Zealand, Australia, and deep in Mexico.
18. Lived on both coasts of US and through 21 states (I think).
19. Climbed mountains
20. Swam in rivers
21. Swam in safe lakes
22. Swam in dirty water
23. Been in Gulf of Mexico, Pacific Ocean and Atlantic Ocean
24. gigantic car phones become a tiny thing that hangs on your ear
25. Helped 4 dogs give birth to wonderful puppies
26. Took a puppy with spina bifada to the vet
27. volunteered countless hours
28. gave birth to 2 wonderful boys
29. got married...still waiting for dream wedding and honeymoon
30. enlisted in the military
31. Have a great relationship with my God.

There are so many more things I could say but I know that each day and each year will only get better and better.

Thank you, Lord, for what you have blessed me with. I love my friends and family and sometimes take them for granted. Help me to be a blessing to them and to remember why they are in my life. You trusted me with their loyalty and love. You trusted me to do obey Your Word at this point in Your plan for Your people. Help me to exceed Your expectations, in Jesus' name...AMEN.

magnified maps

Imagine waking up in a strange pasture with a headache strong enough to stop a train. You sit up to rub your eyes and face, groggilly (sp?) scratch your head and look all around you. You don't recognize anything except...*sniff*...Ugh, what is that smell? Ah, yes--cattle. You recall smelling it once when you were younger, driving for hours on end for that "wonderfully anticipated"--but secretly dreaded by all--family vacation. It was definitely a distinct odor that one could never forget.

You check your body and clothes for any signs of abuse, but you're perfectly clean and whole, except for that aweful headache.

Where am I? you think. "Obviously not in New York City!" you say outloud with a chuckle at an attempt to be humorous.

You slowly stand up and scope your surroundings a second time. Hearing a paper rustle in the soft, warm breeze, you stomp on it so as to catch it with your foot so wouldn't blow away. Carefully, you bend over and pick it up, holding it with both hands.

It's a map. But not just any map--not a map of the earth with a great big "you are here" sticker (dratz!); not a map of the US; not a map of a state. It looks like a map of some town magnified to what appears to be a 1000 times, viewing only a few Farm to Market and County Roads with lots of open space in between.

"These roads don't even have names--they're only numbers!" you shout. With a sigh of frustration, you try to recall everything your Daddy, boy/girl scout leader, teachers, and all those National Geophic Explorer magazines ever "taught" you.

You know you're on earth in some state that raises cattle and has Farm to Market Roads that intersect County Roads. There are no houses that you can see, no mountains, a few hills, and waves and waves of tall grass. You know how to read this map, but it doesn't help 'cause you have no idea where in America you assume you are. Frustrating!

Have you ever felt this way in life? At school, at church, at home, at Wal-Mart?

This same frustration is how I feel about Electronic Prinicples. I know what electrons are and the basic concept of electricity, but what the heck is that instructor talking about?? Impedance, hole flow theory, transistorized somethin'-er-others...arrrrgh!

Oh, well...this too shall pass...barely! :) *sigh*

*The photo was found via www.images.google.com at URL http://imagesource.art.com/images/-/David-Angell/Cow-Pasture-Poster-B12189627.jpeg.*