just breathe

the more i seek you, the more i find you
the more i find you, the more i love you

i wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand
lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat
this love is so deep, it's more than i can stand
i melt in your peace, it's overwhelming

The above is a song by Zach Neese. It's so moving. I listen to it several times before bed every night. I love God so much and can't help but trust Him in what He's doing in my life. There are so many things I see Him in every day...it's overwhelming when you think about it.

To be able to just lay back, take a deep breath, and to feel His heartbeat. That is the strength of my life. Just breathe...

what may come

what may come
of the changes suddenly dropped in my lap?
what may come
of the life that unfolds before me?
what may come
in the very near future?
what may come
is opportunity.
what may come
is new connections and covenants.
what may come
is life.

he is yours

My son started Kindergarten Tuesday. I can't believe how fast these last 5 years have flown by. I had 5 years to lay the foundation upon which he will build his life. I still have a lot of work to do, but I can see that the foundation is a good one. He loves God, and Jesus, and going to church. He's an extreme athlete, not much for organized teams sports, although he loves soccer. But I think that soccer was a phase simply because his cousin played it for a little while; he adores her.
He's so mature sometimes that I forget he is only 5 and I don't know how to respond when he acts differently. I need to step up to the plate and provide him a better learning environment at home so that he will be at his best school.
Lord, help me to be the best mom that he deserves. Give me wisdom to guide him to You and to know what he needs even before it shows.
You are so wonderful, Lord. I will keep my promise I made to You...He is Yours.

ignite

Ignite. What a strong word. It is the name of the youth ministry at our church, of which I am a leader--the teacher. Since I became one of the youth leaders, every lesson I teach goes back to getting to know God and studying the Word. It seems I'm always encouraging them to really dig in. Our pastor began a series on obedience; so did we. I really want them to see how important it is to study for themselves what the pastor teaches.

As I was praying just now, I wondered why we chose Ignite as our title, so I did a little research on dictionary.com.

"To cause to burn." "To set fire to."
"To subject to great heat, especially to make luminous by heat."
"To arouse the passions of; excite."
"To begin to burn." "To begin to glow."

Hmmmm...luminous...?

"Emitting light, especially self-generated light."
"Full of light; illuminated." "Easily comprehended; clear."
"Enlightened and intelligent; inspiring."

Wow! Those kids are all of these things! Now, I just need a little salt...

"But John intervened: 'I'm baptizing you here in the river. The main character in this drama, to whom I'm a mere stagehand, will ignite the kingdom life, a fire, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. He's going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He'll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he'll put out with the trash to be burned.'" Luke 3:16 MSG

Ignite the glory of God within you so that it will shine brightly for all the world to experience.

promises.

healing. prosperity.love.companions.children.
spouse.favor.eternity.trust.truth.blessings.forgiveness.selfcontrol.
gentleness.kindness.holyspirit.power.future.hope.morethanmyweelittlebraincouldeverimagine.
all mine...with obedience...

change

change. that is probably the most hated word no matter what language you speak it. i don't mind it, though...well, most of the time.
i made a really tough decision to quit one job and am in the middle of getting into a different one, none of which is the one i really wanted.
but that's not why i'm writing. i recently met a young lady who has experienced a change in plans. many things bombarded her at once, resulting in what seemed like the worst week in her life. she had a purpose, and a plan to go with it, but persevering seemed virtually impossible. it made me think: how would i react if i was that close to going to AFRICA and CHANGE hit me like train?
I know my purpose. I know I could persevere, but it's the plan that gets me. Am I making the right choices? Have I missed the mark somewhere? How do I know that I am in the right place at the right time?
These questions run through my mind a lot but then something awesome, amazing happens...GOD!
He steps in at the right time to reassure me that His plan, His purpose, His perseverance is working in my life. I have this puzzle box with a picture of what all these little pieces will someday be. One by one, they fall into place. Occasionally someone will stop by to help me, to guide me, to distract me, but I know I have all the pieces, even the ones that are no where to be found--because they're under another piece. But they're there.

i will

Purpose. Plan. Perseverance.
These are words my Pastor emphasized this past weekend at church and will expound on them over the next several weeks. He talked about Joseph and how he went from the pit to the prison to the palace, not only to provide for Joseph and his family (the Israelites), but for the bigger picture--to provide for all of mankind for eternity.
I thought about how this applies to the purpose and plan God has for me and my family, and what the much bigger picture is. Since I was in Kindergarten, I've known that I am a teacher. Since I was 14, I've known that my destiny is East Africa: Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania. I've had visions, dreams, and prophecies concerning the ministry God wants me to do for Him there.
BUT It feels like it's taking F-O-R-E-V-E-R!
Hebrews 10:35-39 says, "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a very little while, 'He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.' But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
I will persevere! I will keep my focus on the prize in the end and live day-to-day, listening, waiting, and obeying what He says to do. I will fulfill the plan and purpose He has for me. I will press on, even though I may not know every detail. I will heed Him as He says to me, "Remember My promises, keep My commandments, and you will prosper and fulfill all that I have for you."
I will persevere.

Mom, Remember When...?

I remember when we lived in Scottsdale for my 10th birthday; you gave me my first perm.
I remember when we lived in Houston and you went to the store without me; I cried for what seemed like hours.
I remember when we lived in California; you took me down the boardwalk to get my first set of bangs.
I remember the night the power went out; we all played Risk for hours.
I remember when I brought my boyfriend home from TBI; you called him your "Messi-can."
I remember us living with you; you taught him how to crochet and he has made a blanket for each boy since then.
I remember you living with us; you crawled on the floor with your ten month-old grandson making car-crashing sounds.
I remember playing the Atari; your favorite game was shooting down the aliens.
I remember playing that old Nintendo; you would move your feet to where you wanted to drop the Tetris tiles!
I remember everything about you.
I know you're still there, buried beneath the Alzheimer's.
I wish you knew where we are so you could come visit us and we could take you to the beach where you could play with your grandsons and son-in-law in the sand.
I wish you could read this letter I am writing for you.
Remember me...
Remember me...?

grace

Favor, mercy, elegance.
Pardon, privilege, clemency.
Favor rendered by one who need not so.
Divine love and protectionbestowed freely on people.
State of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
These are words attempting to define as per a dictionary.
But I say it's more than that.
Grace is getting what you don't deserve.
Grace is salvation.
Grace is God's love and compassion.
Grace is...grace.

i didn't need to...

The first week of March 2006, was a difficult week for us. My husband went on a ski trip to West Virginia with a group of men from our church...no signal to anyone's cell phone, save one man's: John. We don't normally trust anyone enough to take care of our children in our absence, so letting my "Mr. Mom" husband leave for a few days was tough, but he needed it. I know; I was a SAHM (stay-at-home-Mom) for a few years.

So, I'm at work and had just completed a review for a major test for certification when low and behold, I get what was described as a "frantic phone call from someone who sounds just like (me)." My whole being felt as though it sank as I said, "That's my babysitter." I picked up the line and she said that my 3 year-old had an accident and to not panic; he wasn't crying, but the ambulance was on its way.

What?! I nearly dropped the phone.

My sons have (had) this really cool kid-sized punching bag hanging from the ceiling on a hook in their room. The rules were: 1) Punch the bag only; 2) Don't hang or swing on it; 3) Don't hit it so hard that it knocks the items off the windowsill.

What do you think happened? Which rule was broken? #2.

My 3 year-old, in the presence of the babysitter and his brother, mind you--and you know how quick kids can be!--was punching the bag and then decided to hang on it. Doing so caused the hook-screw to fall from the ceiling and pop his eyeball! Seven hours later, he was in his little bed in the hospital after receiving 15 stitches on his globe.

What would you do? How would you react to that situation?

I surprised myself and everyone around me!

I remained calm and immediately began to contact the closest family to me: my church. They encouraged me, prayed for us, and 2 ladies stayed with me all night at the hospital until my husband arrived. Thoughts of blame ravaged through my brain as I struggled with whose fault it was: If that lady hadn't backed out...or I shouldn't have let him go skiing...or Was she even paying attention; telling the truth? But I knew that no one was at fault. In fact, the babysitter called her mom to bring her cell phone charger in case she needed to call 911.

After I made initial calls to people I could trust, I finally knew what to pray for myself and my family. As soon as I did, an awesome peace comforted my soul and I knew that everything was going to be great--not fine, but great! I could have blamed God and asked, "Why didn't you protect his eye? Prevent the screw from falling in his eye?!"

But I didn't need to.

My God is love; He's full of grace and mercy. Healing flows from His wings. In Him, we live, and move, and have our being. There is no one like Him. I can't explain why things happen the way they do. God doesn't need us to explain Him; He needs us to trust in Him, to love Him, knowing that nothing will happen to us where there is no way out, nor more than we can handle.

Do you know Him?

days go by

as the days go by
i can't help but ponder
of the things past
and things down yonder.
as the days go by
i sit and study
wishing i was
out with my buddy.
as the days go by
i think of the roses,
the potholes, and all
that life imposes.
as the days go by,
often lost in dreaming,
i think of the lives i care for
and their eyes gleaming.
as the days go by,
the Holy Spirit speaks,
"spend time with Me
and you'll rise atop peaks."
as the days go by,
i pray that you will see
this Life i live was meant for you
and not only for me.